And so it begins... March 25, 2008 Description: Its a dangerous business going out your door. You step onto the road and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to. Um, hi. Ok, hi. Um, ok hi I'm David. This is my, my uh video blog. So um, ok so why a video blog? Ok well let's see I'm a sensitive guy, I want to share my most, deepest most emotional and vulnerable talks with the entire world. It makes me feel happy to know that I'm sharing some love with some of the world. I don't have a girlfriend so I might occupy myself. Ok, no, right seriously. Why a video blog? Um, just for the hell of it I guess, uh, my mate Gary has a video blog, he says it's great for picking up chicks, you know? Personally I think it's a lot of bollocks but um, it seems like a better crack. Anyways like I said before I'm David, I'm 24, I'm a computer systems analyst and I work all the time. Uh, I had a more intimate relationship with my computer than I did with my last girlfriend. It's extremely sad I know, but uh you might think making a video blog's not such a good idea but uh to be honest, it was either quit my job or go to Rio and I can't afford to go to Rio so here we are. Ok, so that's a start I guess. Um, right. Ok, right, bye. Deja Vu March 27, 2008 Description: The body cannot live without the mind. God damn this fucking place! Um, sorry, excuse my language but I'm just so fucked over this entire thing. It's um, it's currently a quarter past two fucking AM and I'm still in the office of death. Uh, everyone else has gone home to their families and lives but I'm still working away. And uh, good old reliable Dave, I was supposed to be gone to the cinema with _ and supposed to be there but no, didn't happen, did it? And I'm about to strangle Sean to death, quietly. Let me tell you about Sean. Sean is the kind of guy that would make the fucking baby Jesus cry. He's doing my head(?). Take, for just an example, today or you know, yesterday considering it's fucking technically yesterday since it's Thursday now. Um, but anyway, Sean was supposed to be installing a new driver in the computers on the fourth floor. Simple enough task you would think, uh not for Sean. He got almost half the system, uh, installed before he realized that he was installing the wrong mod. Not only did Sean not have the right stuff installed that he fucked up half the computers which meant that, yes, you guessed it, I am here til fucking two o'clock in the morning and trodding through his mess trying to get the entire sales team back online, uh, before work starts in the morning. The start of business day. Thank you Sean, thank you very much. Questions March 28, 2008 Description: Yeah,I've got a question.Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe? Um, yeah. You'll never guess where I'm going to-tomorrow night. Don't laugh, ok? Um, I'm going to Westlife in the Odyssey in Belfast. That's right, Westlife. Uh, Karen and Jan has been bustin' ass laughing at me all day. And so I'm pretty sure you're wondering how this unfortunate task has befallen me. Um, basically it's Karen's fault. Uh, or Karen's husband's, depending on how you look at it. Considering it was him who bought the tickets. Um, and then uh, fucked all friends _? , to escape the terrible fate of b-b-baby please let me go. Anyway, um, surprise surprise, Karen doesn't know anywhere- anyone else that'll go to the fucking thing so somehow and I'm a little fuzzy on details of this parrt but somehow I ended up agreeing to go when I was fucking _(?) drunk last night. Obviously. So, fun fun fun. Can't wait for the cheese fest. Festival of cheese. Hmm... cheese. Yeah, goodbye. [**NOTE: Westlife is a band. http://www.westlifeweb.com**] Look Out! March 30, 2008 Description: Pink elephants on parade,here they come,hippity hopptity. Seriously. Anyway, I'm working from home today. Bad idea, I'm getting nothing done. Um, I'm supposed to be researching remote access security protocol on the internet but instead I'm stuck *coughs* I'm stuck in the smokestack on World of fucking Warcraft. And I can't get out. This is a sign, I think I need to stop playing this game and do some work. Ok, later dudes. There's no place like home. March 31, 2008 Description: Now which way do we go? Ok, um, I don't want to talk about the concert. Ever. Gary thinks she's... well Gary said what Gary thinks when he posted on YouTube, sorry to repeat him. I think he may have been drinking though. I think I should go to bed, I have to be up at seven in the morning so... That's some bad hat Harry. April 01, 2008 Description: You're gonna need a bigger boat. Hello. How are ya? Um, I might have been drinking, uh, just a bit. Um, and I met _ in the pub again tonight. And uh, she was with her boyfriend! Yeah. And she didn't mention it before but apparently he's been uh, he's been around uh, quite uh, quite a while. So um, that's just fucking great. That ended any grand plans of me asking her out, right? Well so I was sitting there right, and uh... you know, sitting there not asking her out and all. Uh, I got up to go to the toilet and uh, and uh, she uh, she gets up and she follows me. And uh, she kissed me. And uh, I don't know, I... I didn't like return the favor if you know what I mean. She was a bit drunk and whatever, so I didn't really want to, I didn't really want to take advantage. Ok, so now she'll probably never talk to me again. Um, but I suppose she'll come around eventually. I'll uh, I'll keep you posted. My name isn't Jesus April 02, 2008 Description: Fairness would be to rip your insides out and hang you from a tree so we can expose you for the heartless desensitised little shits that you are. Ok, so I did sort of a bad thing today. I uh, was helping Jan, we did sort of a bad thing. Cause you see Jan is this sort of hacker, I know you wouldn't think it to look at her but uh, she can be a mean ass bitch when she gets access to a computer and internet connection and all sorts but it was Karen's birthday today so we decided that we were going to uh- maybe wrongly, but we decided that we were going to um, back up all of her files and delete them so she would think that they were gone, you know, and she'd lost everything just cause we thought it might be funny. And so she completely freaked out which is just fucking hilarious but uh, I uh, I'm sorry Karen, I didn't mean to but you freaked out like crazy and it was just the funniest thing ever. You just looked like you were gonna eat your own toes so... Ok it was kind of cruel I know but you had to be there, it was brilliant. uh... So ok, you'll probably never speak to me again but what can I do? She'll come around eventually. I'll keep you posted. The core of mans spirit comes from new experiences April 07, 2008 Description: When you want something in life,you just gotta reach out and grab it. Um, I hope you're having a good one. I just got word that Karen has officially left work. And uh, I swear it has naught to do with the prank that we pulled on her. Um, she'd been working on a uh, on setting up this big web project for a while now and, on the side of course, and I think it's like a hobby which she's decided to take it full time. Which I'm really for her. Um, she's really excited about the whole thing and let's be honest, it beats working... beats working at our place so... I feel like doing something similar. Even though, I don't know, I- I've been stuck in this place for like three years now and I didn't think it was kind of part of my life plan so... I'm kind of still thinking of going to Rio. I think it will be worth it in the end. Yay for Karen. Yay, Karen. Um, go check out um, aftermath08.com and uh, show her some love. Alright, see you later. This is your life and its ending one minute at a time. April 13, 2008 Description: Your not you're job,you're not how much money you have in the bank,you're not the car that you drive,you're not the contents of your wallet,you're not your fucking khakis,you're the all singing,all dancing crap of the world. I'm so fucking sick of this place. The last week I spent 48 hours, uh, updating the new, uh, internal security of the structure, right? And this week fucking Sean gets trained and congratulated by Bruce for all the fucking hard drafting and long hours that he put into the new security server. I'm fucking sick of it. He just sits there and takes praise and.. wants the fucking... the prick to say, to say "Oh jeez boss, actually it was David that installed the entire thing. Like, I just sat there and just played fucking Minesweeper for 8 hours a day." Well Sean, if that's the way you want to play it, fine. I wonder how wonderboy is gonna handle a fucking full on security crash and let's see all the hard work and fucking long hours that you put in pay off then. Fuck you. Everything i found out,I want to forget. April 14, 2008 Description: I come in here and the first thing i'm doing is i'm catching the sight lines and looking for an exit. Ok I'm just after getting home from work. I'm so fucked. I can't go into detail on this blog obviously but uh, let's just say I did something this morning. I didn't mean to do it, not really. Anyway, but I just uh... I found something and I shouldn't have. You know, I wasn't supposed to be there. Um, I don't really know what to do. I'm not sure, I might have to... I might have to find a new job. I just don't know. Look, damn, look I'm not even meant to be fucking blabbing this shit so I'm just going to call Karen and talk this out with a real person, this whole virtual life thing is a bit public right now so...